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Difference Between Self-Love and Self-Care—Which Is More Valuable?

Difference Between Self-Love and Self-Care

Reviewed by

Yashi Sonthalia - Counseling Psychologist
Yashi Sonthalia - Counseling Psychologist

Published on March 31st 2025

As humans, we often seek love from others in the form of approval, validation, gifts, or what they think about us, but what we tend to forget is how valuable self-love is and the difference between self-love and self-care. Let’s understand what they are.

What is Self-Love ? 

what is self love

Self-love is a journey of accepting yourself, healing, and aligning with your true self. It is the practice of caring, embracing, and nurturing yourself. The practice involves cherishing your finest self as well as your worst self and loving it even more. The process involves acknowledging your potential for happiness, success, and love in life.

For example, establishing positive boundaries in relationships is a glaring illustration of self-love in action. A self-loving person may own their needs and limitations and respectfully communicate their boundaries, ensuring that their interactions are balanced and respectful.

What is Self-Care?

what is self care

In contrast, self-care emphasizes “performing” over “feeling” and includes activities that improve mental, emotional, and physical well-being. You find inner serenity, love, and happiness in life through self-care activities, which also enhance your overall well-being. 

It includes activities such as taking a shower, going for a nature walk, eating nutritiously, or going to therapy. Consider rest, relaxation, and recharging as major priorities to avoid running out of energy.

As we have understood the basics of self-love and self-care, it’s important to recognize how they differ in practice and what holds more value for our well-being.

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Difference Between Self-Love and Self-Care – Which is More Valuable?

Difference Between Self-Love and Self-Care

Although both are necessary and none is intrinsically more valuable, self-love serves as the cornerstone for significant self-care.

  • At first look, they could appear to be the same thing. However, self-love encompasses more than just self-care. Self-care is just one aspect of embracing and enjoying who you are. For instance, yoga and pranayama are self-care practices that help you stretch and provide flexibility, keeping you energized. These approaches also allow you to establish balance, enhance your overall health, and reduce stress—a true gift of self-love.
  • Consider it this way, self-love is like the ethics one has in life; it offers a clear mindset, a sense of truthfulness, and how you perceive yourself. Self-care refers to the actions you take to uphold those ethical commitments. Both are necessary as they add value to our growth and well-being. 
  • Self-love and self-care are intertwined; cultivating one naturally fosters the other, creating a positive cycle of well-being. Often, the journey of self-care begins with a seed of self-love, which then blossoms into consistent, nurturing practices. As you begin to care for yourself, you’ll find that self-love grows, and this love makes it easier to continue the practice of self-care, leading into a spiral of well-being.

How to Self-Love? 

How to self-love

Accepting our prior traumas, scars, and stressors that prevent you from connecting with love is the first step in developing healthy self-love.

During our childhood, we face many traumas in different forms, like 

  • Bullying in school 
  • Parents fighting at home
  • Getting scolded for not scoring 90%, and 
  • Many more.

These scars do not leave marks on our bodies but leave an impression in our minds. We lacked the cognitive capacity to comprehend as children, but as grownups, we now want to heal and connect with our inner child.

Practicing self-love is the best way to do so! One can get started by following these practices:

  • Think about the connection you have with yourself for a while. Are you typically harsh and judgmental, or are you kind and compassionate?
  • Being aware of your current situation is the first step in developing self-love.
  • Having gratitude is a wonderful way to cultivate self-love. Write down the qualities you value about yourself on a daily basis.

A key component of self-love is setting clear boundaries since it preserves your physical health, spiritual health, and mental health. Communicating your desires and boundaries can help you maintain polite and supportive relationships. 

The Secret to Self-Love

self-love routines

Establishing boundaries is being strong about what behaviors you will and won’t tolerate, prioritizing your personal space, and understanding when to say “NO.” This exercise gives you

  • The ability to respect your value, 
  • Keeps your equilibrium, and 
  • Establish a setting where you feel respected, protected, and appreciated.

If you are struggling with self-love, don’t hesitate to seek professional assistance. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional, as they may provide the guidance and resources you need to strengthen your bond with yourself.

How to Self-Care?

How to self-care

These days, buying expensive things or often promoting our lives on social media are considered self-care practices. In reality, self-care is much more than what is seen on screen. Self-care helps to enhance one’s physical health, happiness, increase energy levels, and perspective on life, but it has to be followed consistently as a self-care routine.

At the start, self-care is fun, and other times it involves doing things that you know are good for your physical, mental, and emotional health that actually need discipline.

Self-care consists of numerous small actions that add up to significant improvements in your life. As said in a famous book, “Atomic Habits” by James Clear, improving 1% better every day leads to 37 times improvement in yourself at the end of the year, but if you don’t start, you end up having 0% progress.

What Happens When You Don’t Follow Self-Care?

Those who don’t take care of themselves are more likely to feel exhausted, have mood changes, and suffer from worry and despair. They are less likely to feel happy, fulfilled, and satisfied with the overall quality of their lives. All of these emotions might lead to disease, illness, and mental health issues.

Thus, engaging in self-care practices is the best investment one can make for good-quality life returns.

How to Create a Self-Care Routine?

self-care routines

Developing healthy self-care habits starts with understanding who you are and what you need to feel positive about. They can be divided into distinct categories like

1. Physical Self-Care: Engaging in physical activity, like a simple 15-minute walk, can boost your mood by releasing endorphins, your body’s natural stress relievers. Along with that, having a healthy diet plays a vital role in improving overall health.

2. Mind & Emotional Well-being: Practicing activities like journaling, mindfulness exercises, meditation, and conversations with friends helps in exploring our thoughts creatively, and it feels great to be rewarded with new ideas and inspiration.

3. Social wellness: Another aspect of self-care is keeping up a supportive social network and wholesome connections. This includes scheduling social activities, spending time with loved ones, and asking for help when necessary.

4. Psychological care: Taking a break from social media and doing things that inspire you and maintain the health of your brain. Reading a book, playing chess, puzzle solving, developing a new skill, or creative pursuits could all fall under this category.

5. Soul Care: A vital component of self-care is making a connection with the Divine or participating in spiritual activities like prayer, meditation, or spending time in nature. Such activity helps build gratitude toward ourselves and society.

Conclusion 

Understanding the distinction between self-care and self-love is crucial for leading a balanced and healthy life. While self-care entails taking steps to maintain your well-being, self-love is about cultivating a positive relationship with oneself. By adopting these ideas, you may create a solid foundation for your sense of value and take proactive measures to live life to its fullest.

Never forget that you deserve respect, love, and care, and your only source is yourself, so why wait? You deserve to take the first step because you are worth it!

Frequently Asked Questions 

  • What is the golden rule of self-care?

The golden rule of self-care is to treat oneself the same way you treat other people. It is to value, cherish, safeguard, and take care of yourself every single day. It involves letting go of criticism and judgment and substituting patience and thankfulness.

  • Is self-love an expression of self-care?

Yes, self-love is a fundamental component of self-care since self-care behaviors are frequently motivated by the desire to prioritize and nurture one’s well-being, which is a fundamental component of self-love. 

  • What can self-love lead to?

Numerous psychological studies have demonstrated the significant influence that self-compassion and self-love have on our mental and emotional well-being, reducing feelings of anxiety, despair, fury, and loneliness while simultaneously boosting self-support and encouragement.

  • Why is self-love important?

Building resilience, emotional health, and confidence all depend on loving oneself. It encourages self-care, builds healthy relationships, enhances mental health, and cultivates inner contentment and serenity.

  • Why is self-care important?

Self-care is crucial to preserving one’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It guarantees that you can perform properly on a daily basis, lowers stress, increases adaptability, and enhances overall health.

Sources

  • https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2002-17391-007 
  • https://www.academia.edu/download/99003325/annurev.pu.04.050183.pdf 

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